New Sisterly Guide to… Guess What…

A Sisterly Guide to Taking Your First Zumba Class

(according to Liz Bridges)

 

Sisters,  I’m gonna let all of you in on a little secret.  I really don’t love exercise.  I know, I know, it’s SO good for you… it will help you live longer… it will make you a happier person… blah, blah, blah.  I KNOW all that.  But let’s just be honest… it’s not always FUN to exercise.  It’s hot, the weights are heavy, and there’s just no fun in walking on a treadmill dreadmill when you never get anywhere!

Have you ever gone to the gym or to a group fitness class and had that feeling of, “Well, let’s get this over with…”?  Well, I certainly have. My good friend Kati and I have even joked about the times that we parked our cars at the gym, got out, walked up the steps, got to the front door… and then turned around and left.  Have you ever done that?  Don’t feel guilty.  Once, I parked at the Y, went in, got on the dreadmill, walked for 2 minutes, got off, walked over to the courtesy phone, called Papa John’s, and then left and picked up pizza to eat while sitting on the couch.  Yes, that is a true story.

I tell you all of this not to discourage you from exercising… but to show you that if you have ever felt this way, you are not alone!  For years, I got on and off of the exercise wagon.  I’d stick with it for a while, and then I’d get bored and find myself at home watching Friends reruns during my usual gym time.  UNTIL I found myself in a Zumba class for the first time. 

So… what exactly is Zumba?  Remember when you were in college and on Thursday nights you and your friends would head out to the local club/bar and dance your booty off until like three in the morning?  Well sisters, if you take away the alcohol, smoke, and intoxicated men hitting on you, you’ve got yourself a Zumba class.  Now seriously, admit it… that sounds amazing, right? 

The first time you go to a Zumba class, I know you’re gonna feel a little uncomfortable.  At least, I did.  I remember thinking, my booty is way too big to be shaking it in front of all these people.  I got to class early so I could stake out my spot… all the way on the BACK row.  I figured the wall behind me wouldn’t judge me or my ginormous booty.  For the record, sisters, I would like to tell you that if you are a first-timer, you should make your way to the FRONT so you can see what’s going on.  I promise you that no one is there to look at your booty, no matter how big, bold, and beautiful it might be.  (And I would also like to make the point that in Zumba, a large, beautiful booty is really an ASSet.) 

Let’s talk about what to wear. 

Since we’ve talked so much about the booty, let’s talk about what to put ON the booty.  You’re going to see a variety of booty-coverings in your Zumba class.  Some people will wear shorts.  Some will wear those cute little running skirts I mentioned in the Sisterly Guide to Running Your First 5K.  The exercise apparel section of Target has a lovely assortment of yoga pants, dry-fit capris, and more.  All of these are great.  I recommend that if you buy any of the above items, you get the color black.  The reasons for this are three-fold. First, black makes everything appear smaller.  Am I right, sisters?  Second, it matches everything.  And third (and most importantly) black pants do not show butt-sweat.  Yes, I did say “butt-sweat.”  It’s just a fact of exercise, people.  And while it happens to the best of us… you want to try and hide it as best you can.  Another great option out there are Zumba pants.  Yes, there are actual Zumba pants.  Sisters, these pants make any butt, even one that’s giant like mine, look cute and perky.  I promise.  Plus, they’ve got these cute little strings or tassels on the booty pockets that move around when you shake it. 

Now… moving on to the “girls.”  You’ve gotta have a good sports bra for Zumba.  There’s a whole lotta shaking going on in a Zumba class… and the girls need to be secure.  Seriously… once I saw someone do a little shimmy and give herself a black eye.  (Well, not really… but it was close.)  Ever since then, I’ve doubled up on the sports bras.  And while we’re talking about the girls… Sisters, you’ve gotta turn off the headlights, if you catch my drift.  You’re gonna sweat and for some reason… that’s when they always come on.  Do what you’ve gotta do.  Sometimes a simple pair of Band Aids will remedy this situation.  Sometimes you need a more high-tech product such as a pair of DIMRS.  (www.dimrs.com)  Take cover.  If you don’t, when you walk out of that group fitness room, you’re gonna run into someone like your boss, and they’re going to be blinded by the headlights.  It’s Murphy’s Law.

When you come to Zumba, be prepared to let all your inhibitions go. 

This is the one place in the gym where you hear the instructor yell things like, “Pump it!” or “Shake ‘em!” It’s the only place in the gym where you’ll hear songs like “The Booty Bounce,” “Chunky,” or “Push It.”  It’s the one place in the world where you can shake your booty (and other shakeable parts) and NO ONE will even give you a second glance.  In fact, sisters, the crazier you act and the louder you yell, the more people will like you. 

Sisters, I want you to know that Zumba will change you forever.  Seriously, it will.  Don’t be surprised when you’re at a restaurant and one of your Zumba songs comes on and you spontaneously break into song.  Don’t be shocked when you find yourself on iTunes downloading music in languages that you can’t speak or understand.  I think half the songs on my iPod are in another language.  In fact, as I am typing this, I was just singing to myself, “Amarte Es Un Problema.”  And I just realized that I don’t even know what that means.

But sisters, what I love most about Zumba is how it makes me feel.  I never dread going to a Zumba class.  And I promise you, I have never left a Zumba class feeling exhausted.  Every single time I go, I leave feeling like I am on a cloud. 

Coming Soon: The Next Sisterly Guide!

Happy Monday to all of you!  I hope that you all had a great start to your week. 

I did… until I had to drive through a torrential downpour with tornado warnings to get to Zumba tonight!  Here is a pic I snapped, just before the downpour started. 

 

I hate driving in bad storms.  It took me close to 30 minutes to go 10 miles on the Interstate.  Luckily, Zumba was totally worth it!  It was a hard-core workout with tons of great songs.  I got to lead a few songs and co-lead some, too! 

Then I came home to yummy leftovers… Mexican Chicken Stew. 

This is going to be a quick post tonight.  I just wanted to let you know that you should get ready for the next Sisterly Guide!!!  It’s coming SOON!  Tomorrow, in fact!!! 

Can you guess the topic for the next Sisterly Guide???  If you think you know what’s coming, leave a comment!  We’ll see if any of you can guess it! :)

Stay tuned…

Sisterly Guide: Running Your First 5K

A Sisterly Guide to Running Your First 5K

and Keeping Up Appearances

I first wrote this piece for a graduate class I was taking.  However, it has evolved over time.  For all of you out there who want to be runners but just aren't... this is for you.

 

I’m an admitted ex-couch potato.  Six months ago, I was perfectly content sitting on the couch, watching Bravo marathons of The Real Housewives of New York, The Millionaire Matchmaker, and Project Runway.  I’d been successful pretending not to notice the extra pounds that had crept onto my thighs over the past several years until I encountered a sudden reality check—a photo taken of me as I taught a class of seventh graders.  That picture really got me running—straight to the nearest Weight Watchers location where I slapped on a nametag and handed over my credit card with gusto. 

That same day, I got an email about a local 5K race happening in my hometown in six weeks.  This was ironic, as the only running I had done lately was to try and beat my husband to the remote control so I could avoid watching Sports Center.  Normally, I would have hit “delete” right away, sending that email out into the vast cyberspace garbage dumpster, but something made me save it.  As I hit the “save” button, I vowed that I would complete a 5K and my only real goal for myself was to not be last.  And my sisters, I’m here to tell you that if I can do this, then you certainly can, too.  

Hubby and Me Just Before the Candlelight Run 5K (a night run in Greenville, SC)

As I trained for my first 5K, I was a little lost at first.  I started off asking my running friends for advice.  They said things like, “Try running for 5 minutes at a time at first.”  Or “Try taking long strides and keeping your knees up.”  I found that these two tips did not help me much.  Keep your knees up?  Run for FIVE minutes?  People, I was doing well if I could run for ONE minute when I started!  So, I found that I had to ask people who had once been like me—a true running virgin—and could actually remember how they got started.  Those are the kinds of people who will tell you to turn to a truly realistic training program called “From the Couch to a 5K,” in order to get ready for your first race.  And I found a lot of other helpful advice that I hope you can use, too.  I have even formed a philosophy about running which is at the heart of everything I will tell you here.  Listen carefully.  The idea is, “It’s all about appearances.”

First, let’s talk running gear.  When I started running, I just knew I needed a cute little running outfit, so I headed straight to Target.  I never knew spandex came in so many colors.  And skirts!  Made just for running!  With little shorts built in!  Matching dry-fit tank tops!    Everywhere I looked I saw tags that read things like “Wicking!” or “Dual-Layer Support!”  I was not sure what these words even meant, but I was pretty sure I would be a better runner if I had those clothes.  Sisters, I encourage you all to get up right now (or tomorrow morning), go to Target, and buy yourself a great-looking running outfit.  Even if it does not improve your time, it will make you LOOK more like a runner.  Remember, it’s all about appearances.

There are two other crucial pieces of equipment that you will need.  PLEASE, do yourself a favor and get yourself a GOOD running bra.  Do not buy the one that has the orange CLEARANCE sign hanging next to it and is about the thickness of pantyhose.  Spend the extra money and buy yourself a running bra that is reminiscent of body armor.  The girls will thank you.  It may have worked on Baywatch, but in real life, running without support is a disaster for any sister. 

We need to talk about chafing, too.  Yes, I did say chafing.  The most important thing you can get is this little tube of magic elixir called Body Glide.  It goes on like deodorant and will keep your thighs from chafing.  Remember what I said about keeping up appearances?  Nothing is more embarrassing than leaving the park walking with your thighs ten feet apart because you forgot your Body Glide. 

         Now, we’ve got to talk about running and pooping.  I know it can be taboo to talk about poop.  But sisters, it’s a reality we’ve all got to face.  You want to be light as air for your race, which means you’ve gotta poop before you get to that start line.  Personally, I think coffee helps a lot with this.  Have a big cup first thing in the morning.  Hopefully that will get things “moving” before you leave the house.  It’s no fun sitting in a port-a-potty just before a race (or anytime, really), but it’s even worse if you have to go DURING the race.  You try running while holding in a poop.  Seriously, try it.  Let me know how that goes.

Somewhere in the first mile...

About fifteen minutes before the start of the race, you may be thinking, “I need a shot of something if I am gonna get through this.”  You may be in need of some magic potion that will give you an immediate boost of energy and also help you to cross the finish line with energy to spare.  Well, I searched and one such magical potion DOES exist.  At your local sporting goods store, you should be able to find a variety of energy gels that will soup you up like Popeye’s spinach.  I recommend GU’s Vanilla Bean flavored gel with caffeine.  It tastes a lot like a mouthful of thick maple syrup, but in about 20 minutes, you’ll be glad you took this extra step.

When the announcer says, “Runners take your marks… get set…” you’ll start to feel that gel kick in.  Your heart will be pumping and you’ll be ready to take off like the roadrunner as soon as you hear the “GO!”  Trust me when I say to you, start off slowly.  You will want to start off at a jog.  You are going to feel like everyone in the race has passed you.  You may begin to panic.  However, keep a smile on your face.  Pretend to take in the lovely scenery around you.  If there are trees around, crane your neck as though you are listening to the birds as you jog by at a leisurely pace.  Onlookers will say, “Look at how relaxed and peaceful she is!  That is the kind of runner I want to be!”  Even though your lungs may be screaming, you will appear to be completely at ease.

Ryan and Me Just Before the Reindeer Run in Rock Hill, SC

Sisters, fairly soon into your run, you can be sure there will be some kind of hill.  Try as I might, I have been unable to locate a 5K that is run on a completely downhill incline.  And trust me, I have looked.  Do not panic when you come to this first hill, even if it is like the one in my first 5K and seems to be a cliff that rises straight from the ground into majestic proportions.  You may be wondering, how in the world will I ever run up this hill?  If you have been listening at all to what I have told you about appearances, you will have already figured out the answer to this.  You don’t RUN up giant hills.  You will find that you are running at about the same pace as a snail, which just looks silly.  (If you don’t believe me, watch others try to run up this hill and you will see.)  The trick to big hills is to slow yourself down to a walk and take short, quick steps.  I like to call this “Doing the Tim Conway.”  The short steps will always win, and you won’t be gasping like a waterless fish when you reach the top.

Now, if you’re like me, you will find that you simply cannot keep up the runner’s pace for the entire race, especially if you were a true running virgin just six to eight weeks ago. But you do want to appear as though you are a true runner.  You’re going to notice that every so often, there are probably going to be volunteers cheering you on and pointing you in the right direction, especially if you have fallen back from the herd.  You will want these people to admire your feeling of ease and your running stamina.  As soon as you pass these cheering stations, this is the time that you can slow down to a brisk walk and catch your breath.  I have found in my experience that these people are almost always positioned to greet the incoming runners, and they almost never turn around to watch you once you have passed by.  So they will not notice if you slow down for a few minutes.  Just be ready to run when the next cheering station comes into view.

Somewhere along the route of your race, there will most likely be a water station.  Often, these stations are sponsored by local restaurants and are manned by young guys with thick, dark hair, rippled arms and chests, and dazzling smiles.  Sisters, you must resist the urge to stop and flirt, and possibly even ask for a ride to the finish line.  You will want to appear to be a superior runner who is having the time of her life.  So, quickly wipe away your sweat moustache as you approach.  I recommend that you muster up the strength to flash your own pearly whites and grab a cup of water.  This is the only time that it is appropriate to slow to a quick walk while volunteers are watching, mainly because I have found that it is never a good idea to run and drink anything at the same time.  My friend Kelly once did this during a run and accidentally poured the water all over her shirt, turning her 5K run into something of a wet tee-shirt contest.  Many men did cheer her on as she crossed the finish line, although it wasn’t because of her super finish time.

The Reindeer Run 5K-- in the first mile

So, you have almost reached the finish.  This is it—you have almost completed your first 5K and managed to look like a real runner in the process!  The main thing you want as you finish up is to appear as if you have run the entire race, even if you have cheated just a little.  Remember, almost no one saw you cheat, so you are completely free to pretend that it didn’t happen.  As much as it hurts, you’ve got to pick up the pace there at the end.  As my girlfriend Carolyn and I trained our first 5K, we decided to scope out the route ahead of time.  We actually made sure to figure out exactly how far we could run, and figured out that if we began our last running interval at the third telephone pole beside the fire hydrant, we would have just the right amount of steam to be able to cross the finish line at a runner’s pace, thus creating the illusion that we had run the entire distance.  It’s also a good idea to smile and wave to the crowd as you finish, showing that you even have energy to spare.

Can you believe that this is all it takes to complete your first 5K?  And you have done something even more amazing than just complete the race… you’ve managed to keep up appearances while doing it.  I assure you, it is highly likely that others even admired you as you ran.  When I completed my first 5K, my husband and friends were there to greet me at the finish and their first comments were, “I love your skirt!” and “Wow—you look amazing—you are glowing!”  Ok, maybe I exaggerated that last comment, but there were compliments.  I felt amazing, and it didn’t take me long to decide to do it again soon.  In fact, I signed up for another 5K run a month later.  And surprisingly, the whole experience has made me wonder that else I might have been missing out on in my prior life as a couch potato.   You know, there are an awful lots of cute yoga clothes…

I’m on a Roll… and I’ve Got a Surprise Coming Your Way!

Tonight I was at the grocery store and had not eaten dinner yet.  I couldn’t resist the sushi.

I’ve never tried a “summer roll,” but this looked too pretty to not try it!

Did you notice those little fingers in the background?

It was ok… but did not have a ton of flavor.  It was served with sweet chili sauce, and I did not think that sauce was the best compliment.  Hmmm…

I also got a California Roll.

Yum!  THIS I liked better!

So… you are probably wondering about the surprise I have in store for you.  Well, I’ll give you a few hints, but let me give you the back story. 

One reason that I started this blog was to give myself a place to do more writing.  I have always loved to write, but lots of time I don’t make time for it.  And as you know, many times I get caught up in food and trying to capture it in photos.  I love that part of blogging!  But I want to expand a little—keep the photos, but do a little more writing. 

Now, back when I was pregnant with Sadie, I had so much fun reading these books called The Girlfriend’s Guides.  There was

• The Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy
• The Girlfriend’s Guide to Baby Gear
• The Girlfriend's Guide to Surviving the First Year of Motherhood

Click here to go to the Girlfriend’s Guide website!  You can read more of the GG titles—there are more than the 3 listed above!

Those books were the funniest things ever.  They told you the things that the books written by famous pediatricians would NEVER tell you.  They made you laugh because everything rang true.  As I was reading them, it felt like it was a really close friend who was confiding in me.

Well, I am working on a series of “Sisterly Guides” that I am going to be posting on this blog.  I hope that the Sisterly Guides will be helpful, eye-opening, and most of all, funny. 

Are you wondering… “Sisterly Guides to… WHAT?”  Well, you’re gonna have to wait and see, friends.  But I think you’ll like the first one I am working on. 

So… get ready for the first Sisterly Guide.  It’s coming SOON!